Tigers On Top

One lefty left, and another returned.

Kenny Rogers and Todd Jones kind of remind me of two overly polite ladies visiting each other. Oh Kenny, Jonesy said, don’t feel like you have to pitch six shutout innings. Really, it’s not necessary, dear.

Pish, Kenny replied. Don’t worry, it’s nothing, nothing at alllllll.

Pitted against fellow crafty forty-year-old John Smoltz, Kenny picked up right where he left off. For five innings, the two wily veterans posted dueling goose eggs, baffling young ‘uns and oldsters alike. But in the sixth came that explosion of a crooked number we’ve lately come to expect from the juggernaut Tigers offense.

Kenny himself led off, though he didn’t exactly begin the rally in the sense that Bondo and dearly departed Mikey did. Rather than a squibbing single or a booming double, Kenny quietly struck out and headed back to the bench to watch the fireworks in comfort. And his mates pecked Smoltzie to death.

Granderson: Single. Polanco: Single. Sheff: Second out. Cue the clutchness. As my friends Ben and Jay always say, “Unleash the AWESOME!” Maggs: RBI single. Guillen: Two-run double that handily died just enough under the padding of the outfield wall that the outfielder had to go get it rather than letting it bounce to him. Pudge: RBI double. Casey: Intentional walk. Brandon, thus disrespected, just had to make the Braves pay for such blatant disregard with a timely RBI single. Sure Casey got hung up between second and third for the final out, but not before Pudge crossed the plate. And that was all the Tigers needed.

Kenny pitched his final half inning after the outburst, and it made me remember why I grew to love him last year (after lustily booing him for abusing the camera man and stealing Bondo’s All-Star spot the previous year). Right when he needed to shut the Braves down and extinguish all sparks of hope, he did just that. Grilli, Seay and newbie De La Cruz preserved the shutout, extending the Braves’ scoreless streak to epic proportions. Also of note, Wil Ledezma made his Braves debut and struck out the side. One of those strikeouts was Bobby Seay, making the very first plate appearance of his career. How a guy plays as long as Bobby and avoids batting completely boggles my mind and warms my trivial minutiae-loving heart.

Another thing that (surprisingly) gave me warm fuzzies: The Braves announcers. They were fair almost to a fault, and delightfully amusing. At one point they were discussing where all the cotton candy sticks in Atlanta had gone. One of the announcers said he’d discovered their hoarding place–Cleveland! There were dark mutterings about Cleveland stealing all the cotton candy. This somehow led to a discussion of how you never see baby pigeons. “You know why?” asked one announcer. “Because they’re all produced in a factory … in Cleveland.” Why the fixation on Cleveland? I have no idea. Later on the older broadcaster spent a good five minutes marveling over the younger’s pen, which featured four different colors of ink. So did the camera, as Ledezma was striking out his second batter. “What just happened?” the younger one asked, suddenly remembering the game still in progress. “I have no idea,” said the other–and somehow, it was just adorably baffling, rather than annoying. I almost hope Comcast uses the Braves feed again tomorrow–can’t wait to hear what tangents they go off on!