Tigers On Top

Another brilliant one-run victory! Somehow this one felt just a bit hairier than the previous one though.

I should have had more faith in young Andrew, I suppose–because people with food poisoning don’t pitch eight innings like Santana did. Pretty much thought I was going to die when Miller drove in the first Twins runs (and after that booming Maggs 2-run double too!) by plunking Justin Morneau, but then the Phee-nom part of his personality took over. Say goodnight, Jason Kubel. Ahhhhhh.

The bullpen wasn’t perfect, but they were just as good as they needed to be. Maggs added a crucial solo home run to give us a 3-1 lead, promptly made 3-2 when Jason Grilli couldn’t get out of a jam completely unscathed.

The last few innings were gut-wrenching. The Tigers pretty much did nothing on offense, while the pitchers got into heart-pounding jams. If I wasn’t trying to quit the habit, I would have chewed my nails down to nothing by the eighth. Bobby Seay created a disaster waiting to happen, then handed the mess over to ever-reliable Chad Durbin. Chad, after plunking his first batter to load the bases (what’s with all the plunking? come on now), got Jeff Cirillo to pop out to Pudge. Pudge, elated by the second out of the inning, ran out to Durbin and gave him a fervent and possibly painful whack on the ass. I know all ballplayers indulge in the butt-smacking to one degree or another, but jeeeeeez, Pudge! You’re going to put someone on the disabled list with bruised buttocks!

Speaking of the disabled list, we should all have a moment of silence for the DL’s latest victim, Mr. Moonshot himself. Marcus Thames, manning left field, made an absolutely magnificent somersaulting catch to end the eighth inning. He just barely got the ball in his glove (the broadcasters declared it a most risky try, but Marcus pulled it off, didn’t he?) and then kind of rolled to a stop. Tigers fans’ cheers died in their throats when he came up grimacing horribly and clutching his left hamstring. Now Timo Perez has been called up. Excuse me while I go throw up in a corner.

I will admit my boy Jonesy made the ninth a little interesting, but it was more like a refreshing dash of a spice than a whole buttload of jalapenos or something that sets your mouth on fire. Why I’m comparing his pitching to food when the most I cook is EasyMac, I’m not completely sure. In other tidbits, Raburn had a hit, bringing his average to .429. I am rooting extra hard for Raburn, not just cause he’s a cool guy I’ve been following off and on for a while, but because if he does really well, we can get rid of Neifi!!!!! And how wonderful would that be? I think they’ll probably be getting rid of Neifi anyway–why would you want to keep a guy so stupid on your roster? He got caught for the amphetamines once, they didn’t tell anyone and told him, “Now, sonny, don’t do that again,” and what did he do? He DID it! STUPID! Raburn is undoubtedly more intelligent, he plays more positions, and hopefully he will hit for a better average. Can’t be that hard, considering Neifi sucks at practically everything including hitting. There is no Raburn Index which determines just how much of a drag a guy is to his team, now is there?

Here’s hoping Mr. Moonshot returns soon, that Neifi never does, and that Bondo keeps kicking ass!